Die Hard? Check. A Christmas Story? Check. I guess that leaves only one more favourite movie to snuggle up to; Home Alone. Except…
I get that every kid loves the idea that they can one day be better than the adults around them. However, to totally enjoy the movie from Kevin’s point of view, one must suspend their disbelief and overlook one important detail, that if it was handled quite differently, the McCallisters would all be on the plane to Paris together as a family. That detail; The McCallisters are the worst parents ever. Not just because they forgot their son. They are just horrible people. Here’s the evidence:
1. They lock and starve their kid in an attic. I mean holy crow! I think the Dursley’s treated Harry a little better than this. At least Harry had food! At least give Kev a Snickers. He’s just hangry mom. PS what mom says this to their own kid? PPS, you’re expecting an 8 year old to pack his own suitcase! WTF?! I’m surprised your trip to Paris is going so smoothly thus far! ALSO SAVE THE KID A PIECE OF HIS FAVOURITE PIZZA!
2. Call a neighbor or someone to go and check the house to see if he’s there! OR THE POLICE EVEN! I swear all their rich money and fur coats have clearly erased all sense of reason and rational here. Also, why did you not bother to go an check up on him in the morning, or see if he was awake?! BAH! YOU HAD SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO JUST…I give up!
3. Uncle Frank is the jerk, not Kevin. Dude it was an accident! Go change you pants instead of berating a little kid in front of his own parents. I’m sure you have numerous pairs in your luggage for your all expense paid trip to Paris, loser! Also, Buzz. Buzz needs a serious shot to the nards.
That’s all I have for now. Am I missing anything? Am I wrong? Let me know in the comments below!